Bill Farquharson

My all time favorite practical joke
June 20, 2007

On we go with more practical joke stories from the early days of sales, circa 1983.

As I pointed out in Monday’s Blog, no one was safe in our office. If you went on vacation, your desk was likely missing upon your return or mysteriously on the roof. Messages from fictitious “customers” with dial-a-joke phone return phone numbers were frequently found in your box. Once, I went to Hawaii but sent postcards from Boston just to mess with the secretaries. But there was one joke that I still laugh about….

The rep who sat next to me was named Dan Owens. Dan was, and is, and outstanding sales rep with an intense nature that drove him, got him in trouble, and made him the perfect target for fun and good natured kidding. Naturally, I was absolutely brutal to Dan, so much so that when my mother met him she said, “Oh, you’re the one that my son plays all of those awful jokes on.”

My favorite practical joke of all time was the Monday afternoon that I learned that Dan had been a little, um, naughty over the weekend. He’d been in New Hampshire at a wedding and had rented out a condo for his 20+ strong entourage. Well, it seems that the party got a little out of hand and that some damage was done to the carpet and kitchen. And the foyer. And the walls. And….Anywho, after listening to him give me the outline of the night’s events, I hatched a plan.

Recruiting the help of another rep, Bill Carbo, I quickly filled him in on what I knew from Dan’s details. I suggested that Bill go into the District Manager’s office, close the door and, using his private line, call the main number pretending to be the condo’s lawyer and demand restitution. Well, they don’t give out Academy Awards for practical jokes, but if they did, Bill Carbo would have won. He demanded an apology. He demanded $2000 before 5pm that day. He laid it on thicker and heavier as he went along. Sitting next to Dan and watching him squirm, it was all I could do not to break out in hysterics. You could clearly hear Bill yelling from behind the closed door, but Dan was too busy apologizing and backpedaling to notice. By now the entire office was laughing, except for Dan.

Bill got off of the phone. Dan hung his head and muttered, “I am so screwed” (or something similar to that). Bill came bursting out of the office and rushed to Dan’s desk, making one last demand: “And I want CASH!” The blood drained from Dan’s face and the wheels in his head started to turn as the laughter rocked the office. Suddenly putting it all together, he turned to me and yelled, “YOU!”

Or something similar to that.

Posted by Bill Farquharson on June 20, 2007 | Comments (0)