It was a lucky moment—8/8/08 at 8:08 p.m.—when the Olympics kicked off. On that same day, I became the father of three teenaged daughters as Madeline Priscilla Farquharson celebrated her 13th birthday. A friend of mine laughed as I related the woes and frustrations of having three teenagers in the house. “Bill,” he said, “write these four words down: Communicate. Expect. Inspect. Reward. In those words lies your secret to parental survival.”

I have often heard myself give sales advice in a coaching call and then turn around and say something very similar to the girls. Think about it: Goals, repercussions and accountability have a place in the job of a manager and the role of a father. Understanding my friend's four words has helped me to identify where the sales management process breaks down as well. First, consider the process:

Communicate—This is where the manager expresses his or her goals for the sales force. Whether in a sales meeting or an email, the rep(s) are told of their minimum standards of performance.

Expect—Shortly after communication occurs, the sales manager's expectations are raised. In his or her mind, the goals are set and perfectly clear. It is up to the rep to understand them and then meet them.

Inspect—The manager then examines the performance of his or her reps to gauge whether or not the job is being done properly.

Reward—Having judged the rep's effectiveness (or lack thereof), reward or punishment is given.

It seems so simple. Why, then, do managers and parents end up flabbergasted that the rep/child hasn't made one single sale or the lawn still hasn't been mowed? Meanwhile, the rep/teen is looking at you like you are out of your mind. Everyone leaves the meeting as the hero of his/her own story, retreats to neutral corners and thinks, “What an idiot!”

Of the four, I see manager/parent frustration most often appear at the “Expect” level, and it has to do with the interpretation of the message. Regardless of what we say or what we think we said, it's what they heard that really matters. Recently, I have had two conversations with sales-starved managers. They deliver a passionate “Get sales now” message to the reps and are disappointed with the outcome. In particular, the absence of a shared sense of urgency makes the managers crazy. When I speak to the reps, their response (perhaps as it should be) is, “I am doing all that I can!” Still, that does nothing to erase the building frustration and tension.

One solution is to take the added step of communicating your expectations, not just the need. “We need more business” is the managerial equivalent of saying, “You need to do your chores.” Both will result in a deer-in-the-headlights response and will have to be repeated multiple times. Instead, try “I expect everyone to call on five new prospects per week.” And add: “Reports of prospects you are calling are expected on my desk by 5 p.m. Fridays.”

There are a lot of quiet presses out there these days and lots of pep talks being issued in sales meetings. But unless you finish by saying, “Tell me what you heard and what you are going to do about it,” you can expect more of the same.

COMMENTS? Bring it on: billf@com