Sales Managers Are Crazy!

Every month, I get e-mails from salespeople who write, “I'm tired of my boss sticking a copy of your GAM column on my desk. Can't you give me some ammo to return fire?” Okay, campers, this one's for you!

I am going to let you in on a little secret: Your manager is scooters. That's right! He's whacked, gonzo, loony, bonkers and batty. I can prove it, too. Do you know what makes your manager nutty mad? An empty chair. Isn't that odd?

What is it about an empty chair that would send a sales manager to the bell tower with a high-powered rifle? The fact that your fanny isn't in it, that's what. Your sales manager is driven over the edge by a piece of IKEA-quality furniture that, in part, symbolizes your work ethic and helps to answer the question, “Is my rep doing his/her job?” Here, let me explain.

Picture this: Your sales manager jumps up from the palatial confines of his comfortable office to get some coffee and walks by your inordinately small cubicle. Looking in as he passes, he finds that you are not in your inordinately small chair. “Hmmm,” he wonders, “where is my inordinate sales rep?” Rolling his hairy wrist, he notes that it is nearly noon and wonders where you are. He thinks about the possibilities:

“He could be golfing. He's probably at the mall. Or, he might be just goofing off. Grrrrrrr!”

With each assumption, the sales manager gets more and more angry. After all, seeing is believing, and you are not within sight. So, how does he know you are actually working? Golfing, prospecting, shopping and customer meetings all look the same to him as he stares at that damn chair. You are not there, and unless he is aware of your whereabouts, speculation can become reality—in a hurry.

People enter the field of sales for many reasons, not the least of which is the accompanying freedom the career provides. Freedom to “make one's own hours,” however, is an acquired benefit. If you are hitting your numbers each month, you are free to be AWOL all day, if you like.

Not on your numbers? The next entry to be examined in the “Is my rep doing the job?” sweepstakes is Sales Activity. Working your tail off? Good for you! Who besides you knows about it, though? Sales is a fully and completely quantifiable job: number of appointments, phone calls, customer visits, etc. It is your job to over-communicate these remarkable numbers with Captain Crazy, or face getting the “Where have you been?” look.

The funny thing is that you'll return to your office after a busy morning of face-to-face appointments, proof deliveries, consultations and other important sales activities and stumble to your desk. Hearing activity emanating from your work space, Señor Spaceshot ambles over and delivers the ultimate proof of I've-never-been-in-sales-myself stupidity by shouting, “What are you doing here? You can't sell anything from your chair!”

This is when you take deep, long breaths and count to 10 . . . mustn't . . . kill . . . manager.

One final suggestion: Be proactive in seeking out your own managerial support. If you lack sales support and do not reach out and ask for assistance, you're virtually guaranteeing a job change in the very near future.